4/8/12

Well, today was an awful day. And its Easter. Even better.
First off, I switched off of Zoloft two weeks ago. I was on 75 mg of that, now I take 20 mg of Paxil everyday to try to control my anxiety. So far it seems to be helping, which is great! The Zoloft did what it was supposed to, but made my tics a hundred times worse, which the Paxil doesnt seem to be doing. We'll see how that works out.
Yesterday, my friend was over. He's been having a rough time with life lately and is usually quite distraught. Of course, as a good friend, I get stressed out when he's upset, which makes my tics worse! He always gets very concerned when my tics become more frequent than usual, but he accused me of faking them to keep him from being upset. I understand where he got that idea but it still REALLY hurt that he would say such a thing.
On the plus side:
Today, my boyfriend told me he has tourette's and an anxiety disorder! That's usually not a good thing, but I'm sick of guys who just don't get how difficult it is to control.

Difficulties of Teenage Life

Being a teen is hard when your brain functions normally. Its hell when you jerk your head in random directions and look like you're sneezing ever 20 seconds or so. As much as I love to inform people about the reality of Tourette's, its very stressful to explain it in terms of my existence. I've started to develop echolalia and palilalia, which makes me appear rude to people who dont realize I have TS. Another thing that people dont seem to often understand is that tics are painful and exhausting. Usually, before a tic, I feel a sensation almost like a burning in the muscle that is going to move. Other times, its a painful tension in those muscles. Occasionally, my tics will cause me to hit something, such as yesterday, when my head jerked back so hard I hit my head on the back of the chair I was sitting in. Thank the lord for tsa-usa.org! It makes me feel normal.

Tourette's--it sucks!

So today I went to the doctor. Got new anxiety medication dosages and all that jazz. And we talked about my tics. There are so many of them I can't even count. Head jerking, hand wringing, snapping, shaking, whimpering, lip biting, jaw clenching, the list goes on and on and on. But at this point, I  only have an 85% diagnoses. 85% sure I have fairly severe Tourette's Syndrome. Noone understands. Why is it that everyone thinks that part of having Tourette's is yelling swear words? And if you dont do that, well, obviously you dont have it. ITS SO FRUSTRATING! Anyone else want to rant about it?